A brief introduction to transactional analysis and how it can be used at the poker table.

Transactional Analysis

In a nutshell, Transactional Analysis deals with how people communicate with each other from a social and psychological point of view, and analyzes what parameters influence these communications. It was “founded” by Eric Berne, a psychoanalyst, in the late 50s.

The key concepts are pretty simple to grasp, and the model is clearly applicable to quite a lot of people/situations.

The Transactions

A transaction is an interaction between two or more people. These interactions can be verbal (eg. a question, a remark) and non-verbal (eg. facial expressions). The interactions are usually part of a larger sequence, composing a whole conversation.

The Ego States

An ego state is a particular attitude adopted during a transaction. Three main states are defined:

• the Parent
• the Adult
• the Child

These states are graphically represented like the schema on the right.

The Parent

The Parent ego state refers to our values and pre-judgments, like those our parents instilled into us. The Parent does not analyze nor reason, but uses pre-judged opinions, code and behaviors learned from some authority: parents, teachers, mentors…

The Parent is conservative by nature: he does not come up with new ideas, does not put old beliefs into question, but relies on a (supposedly) well-proven view of the world. Consequently, he resorts to decisions that have been taken many times before, and the Parent is less likely to make big mistakes when one doesn’t have the time to thoroughly analyze a problem or situation.

This ego state is also subdivided into two facets: the Critical Parent and the Nurturing Parent, according to whether the Parent is admonishing or supportive, respectively.

Some typical Parent phrases:

• “One should not gamble”;
• “Never limp with aces”;
• “Beware strangers”;

The Critical and Nurturing Parents could say:

• “You never fold, you will never win at this game” (Critical);
• “You should not call that often, here I would have raised and folded to a re-raise. If you play like this you will fare much better” (Nurturing);

The Child

The Child ego state is concerned with our emotions and feelings. It can be seen as the “complement” of the Parent state: the Child is not restricted by values or conventions, and let his sentiments, fears and desires take “full control”.

The Child is spontaneous, impulsive, he has a mercurial temperament, but he is also very creative and lively.

Three facets stand out for this ego state:

• the Natural Child does what he wants - he obeys to his feelings.
• the Adapted Child is dominated by his fears and shame, - he obeys to his fear of authority;
• the Little Professor is creative and imaginative - he does not trully analyze (like the Adult), but has good ideas and instincts:

Typical phrases:

• “I’m hungry!”:
• “Let’s have a break and watch TV!”;
• “I’m afraid the boss will be mad at me if I leave before 18:00”;
• “I wish I could play more starting hands, but all these people are going to look down on me if I do”;
• “I’m going to raise him to the end, and we’ll see if he can prevent me from doing so!”;

The Adult

The Adult ego state is defined by our ability to coldly assess, reason or analyze a situation and act accordingly. It is objective and concerned with the reality of its environment.

Compared to the Parent and the Cihld, the Adult relies on facts and logic, whereas the Parents uses values and the Child uses his emotions.

Typical phrases:

• “At this speed we’ll arrive at six PM.”;
• “Based on current information, we’ll need to hire three more salesmen”;
• “I gave 4:1 pot odds on a 5:2 shot, I call”;

The Role of the Ego States

Each ego state has its strengths and weaknesses. The Parent can save precious time and effort when he has to face a difficult situation (eg. under pressure) that he has pre-judged from values he previously acquired. On the contrary, the Adult would have to reassess the situation before acting.

Of course, the Parent can sometimes be extremely misleading and “blind us”, while the Adult would hit the point through accurate reasoning. As for the Child, he is the source of our creativity and liveliness, but can also “turn us” into impulsive, whimsical and immature persons.

Activation of Ego States

Naturally, we are not bound to one ego state for our whole life; each state can express itself at one time or another.

Also, a state can sometimes express itself through another state. For instance, an executive yells at a clerk (Parent) because he’s afraid (Child) of his own manager who asked him over to his desk. This can be an example of contamination.

Contamination

Contamination occurs when one ego state is influenced by another one. For instance, the Adult can base his analysis on data provided by the Parent or the Child, thus producing inaccurate results.

Example: Women can’t manage. See, how many great female managers do you know? (Adult contaminated by the Parent).

When the Child provides erroneous data to the Adult, the logic can become tainted by desires or fears, leading to wishful thinking or the rationalization of one’s feelings.

Representation of Transactions

Transactions are graphically represented like this:

Transaction representation

Transactions can be complimentary (involving the same ego state from each person) or crossed if the recipient replies to a different ego state. For instance:

Example: crossed transaction

Clearly, the Adult made a neutral, informative statement, and the the other person replied with his Parent, crossing the previous message. Since this is not what the first person expected and as it doesn’t correspond to his current state of mind, this is liable to create some irritation, mild resentment or an open argument.

Important: Crossed transactions often bring on conflicts

Covert transactions occur when people say one thing but mean something else (the real point is not verbally expressed). For instance:

• “This is probably beyond your budget” (a seller to a customer)
• “I take it, with all options!” (who are you to tell me what to do?)

Here, the salesman seems to be in an Adult state but the hidden transaction really comes from the Parent (“it is too expensive for you”), and the customer reacts with his Child state (“I do what I want!”). He is effectively manipulated.

Strokes and Games

Stroking is the recognition that one person gives to another. Berne pointed out that we all need strokes to survive, and Games (defined as a succession of coverted transaction with a specific goal) is just a way to get some.

The concept of Games is the topic of one of Berne’s book, Games People Play - a best-seller in the 60s. He described several common Games

Existential Position

This is a simple nomenclature representing how people see themselves compared to others. The different positions are:

• I’m OK, you’re not OK (+-): hostile and superior.
• We’re OK (++): confident, mutual respect.
• We’re not OK (- -): aimless, depressed.
• I’m not OK, you’re OK (-+): sad, inferior, poor self-esteem.

This is somewhat related to the animal terminology (sharks, dolphins, hedgehog) sometimes used in negociation theory.

Life Script

A Life Script is a sort of plan we unconsciously write up in the earlier part of our life, and which defines how we see the world and what we try to accomplish in life. Of course, the Script evolves as we grow up, but we typically are not aware of it anyway.

The theme of a Life Script can be superiority, destruction, to grind it out, to seek love at all costs, and so on.

Since we see the world through our Life Script, we can have a distorted view of reality, and we are often willing to take very biased standpoints to bear our Life Script out and reinforce our own beliefs.